I've got the new Ed
Sheeran song, "Photograph" on constant repeat. It is hauntingly
emotive and lyrically connective to that experience we've all had: losing
something or someone who you love. All the lyrics speak to my heart, but this
verse says it all:
Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And is the only thing that I know
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it's the only thing we take with
us when we die
It is no secret
that our family has an ongoing love affair with the beautiful country that is
Australia, and all of the wonderful friends and experiences that we've been
blessed to embrace for the past (almost) four years. Lately, our love has been
challenged: through employment redundancy, immigration uncertainty, and the
long-awaited but now final decision: we are repatriating to Canada.
I actually have not
processed all that this decision does and will mean to me and to us. In time, I
hope to do more writing and reflecting. And in what is traditionally "my
style", I will most likely share my heart with all of who wish to know it.
;)
But, I wanted to
share a bit of my "unprocessed heart" with you now, because we are so
lucky to be loved by many, and as such, have been asked often over the past few
months, if we need help.
We do need help. We need companions.
We 100% know how
fortunate we are to have had this opportunity. To have four explorative,
adventuresome years, good prosperity, and enriching learning experiences for
our children. To get those experiences, we risked and we worked hard, but we no
doubt got the benefit of some good old-fashioned luck. The end result: an
amazing four-year experience for our family that we are grateful for and will
never forget. We FEEL gratitude.
We 100% know that we
adore the country of Australia. We love ripe avocados and mangos, long 4WD
treks into remote picnic spots, our "mates", our water dragons,
efficient and effective private health care, sunrise walks on the beach,
awesome accents, year-round sunshine and warmth, exotic holidays, snags and
prawns on the bar-be, and the people . . . the people we now know as our
"friends for life". We FEEL part Australian. This is our second
home.
We 100% know that
we adore the country of Canada. We miss downhill skiing, evening daylight hours
in summer, the national anthem, seasons, snow at Christmas, being citizens, “belonging”,
the Rocky Mountains, Vancouver Island, Whistler, Starbucks, restaurant service,
Clamato juice, and the people . . . the people who we know are family and
family of choice. We ARE Canadian. In our hearts, we FEEL great happiness and
comfort in knowing we are going home.
And yet, we feel
sad. We feel anxious. We feel loss. We feel . . . we feel so many things. All
at once. And I think, that is both normal and OK. What we need is companions to
walk this path with us, to let us feel everything we feel, and know that in our
sadness, there is also gratitude and in our laughter, there is also pain.
The other day, Ben
said to me, "But mama, we can be happy because we are going home." We
can, my dear boy. We can be happy because we are going home and we can be sad
because we are leaving home. I said, "The amazing thing about love is that
you can hold love for many people and many places and it doesn't reduce the
love you feel for any one particular person or place."
For us, Australia
offered us infinite opportunities to learn and grow-as individuals and as a
family. It was “us versus the world” to a certain extent, as least for a while
until we resettled. And we took it. In fact, we squeezed every last bit of
experience we could get. And now, I guess it's time to go home.
Loving can heal
Loving can mend your soul
And is the only thing that I know
I swear it will get easier
Remember that with every piece of ya
And it's the only thing we take with
us when we die
"Photograph" by Ed Sheeran
