Nikoi

50 miles from Singapore, but it feels like we have travelled much further. We are knee-deep in the middle of our five-day retreat to Nikoi Island. The resort defies comparison as it is unlike any place we have been before. The Island is owned by a group of expats, who have lived in Asia for most of their lives. They designed Nikoi Island to accommodate what they saw as a dearth of holiday options that were well-built & comfortable for guests, but not garishly luxurious. They acquired leasehold rights to Nikoi about 10 years ago, and opened for business in 2007. Allegedly, the place is always fully booked nine months in advance (with only 15 beach villas, space is limited). Somehow, we lucked into a five-night vacancy in early January & booked it immediately. We have been here for two days, and I can already understand why it is so popular.

Our first view of Nikoi, from the boat that brought us from Bintan

It is almost like someone dropped us into the set of a "Glamour" Survivor. Given its environmental focus, Nikoi is without the typical resort trappings of hot water tanks, TV, & air conditioning. Our "room" is a villa (two-story) in which entire lower floor is open to the outdoors. Upstairs, the ocean-facing wall is open to the sea. There are shutters to pull across the opening in the event of a storm. Otherwise, they are meant to be left open, for the ocean breeze to cool the room. Mosquito nets hang over the king-size bed in the middle of the large bedroom. There are 2 flush toilets & 2 showers, one of which has a hot water tap (I think it's solar-heated?). The pictures below probably paint a much clearer picture of this unique combination of rustic luxury.

Our beach villa "home" for 5 days

Bottom level, coming in from the footpath. You can see how villa is built on stilts (nature's AC).  Both levels are our own private space.

Bottom level contains day beds, chairs, and loungers all with an ocean view. There is also a bathroom/shower and Eskie-style cooler on this level.

View is going up the stairs to the second level

King sized bed, with one of the day beds. There are day beds on either side of the  larger bed.

King bed view, looking the other direction

Ben's day bed (at night, the mosquito bed drapes over where he sleeps).

View of the lower level of our villa from the upstairs balcony

Bathroom facilities

The activities on the Island are also organic. Sea kayaks, snorkels, and paddle boards are all available for guests' unlimited use. There is a Kids Club; it is unlike any Kids Club I've seen before. There are no "sign-in" or "registration" forms. The activities are completely unstructured. Yesterday, Ben crafted a homemade bow & arrow with carrying case, a woven bracelet and a shell necklace. He took turns jumping off the dock & swinging on the homemade, but sturdy zip line. The kids appear to have "free reign" of the Island, as they tear about on treasure hunts or running games. It is somewhat chaotic although it mostly seems that there are always gentle, friendly staff in arms reach.

The pirate ship at the kids' club. Ben loves that there is a "real" safe to lock up the treasures.

Yesterday morning, we left both kids at this "Club" and went for a coffee & a swim. At one point, the kids came to find us, to ask if they could go swimming/kayaking. Our reply, "Yes, wear a life jacket". About an hour later, they tracked us down at the pool (delivered silently by a smiling staff member). Julia is talking a mile a minute about how Ben told the Kids Club staff that he knew how to kayak. I guess he did a pretty accurate paddling impression which they bought, and before anyone caught on to his game, Ben was paddling himself back to Bintan Island. She said that he could indeed paddle as he claimed, but he did not know how to turn the boat. Next thing she knew, the instructor was diving off the dock to fetch Ben & his kayak and tow them both back to land. "What did the instructor say to Ben?" I asked. "No more kayaking by yourself," she reported. I sternly looked at Ben who had the good sense to look down and appear marginally remorseful. "Why did you tell them you knew how to kayak?" I asked. "Because I thought I could. . . ", he smirked. Gotta love his confidence. In retrospect, that confidence could be the direct result of caring for children in a setting where they are given freedom to see what they CAN do instead of constantly being told everything they can't.

Stacey and the kids kayaking on our first day; this is probably where Ben got the idea that he knew how to kayak.

It's like we've stepped back in time 30 years. When I was a child, this kind of freedom was commonplace. We played games on the streets of our neighbourhood, largely unsupervised. We knew to come home when it got dark, and to phone if we stayed to play at someone's house. My parents didn't track our every movement and catch our every fall. If I'm honest, I'd even say that the parts of my personality that crave independence and adventure were likely fostered by this more laissez-faire style of child-rearing. I know we all believe that's not possible today. There are too many dangers and risks and bad people just waiting to harm these wee ones we treasure and want to protect. So, you can probably understand why I am struggling to find the mental discipline/resolve to let my Ben enjoy his freedom in this island paradise. I have been indoctrinated to believe that by stepping back, I am neglecting my child. But I can't deny that he appears to be more than capable of rising to the challenges of exploration, experimentation, and trusting new friends. And he's happy and confident, not afraid.

He loves learning how to make toys with the materials naturally available. This is a homemade bow and arrow.

I do believe that every decision in life comes with risk. Letting Ben freely experience Nikoi Island carries the chance that something or someone will harm him. However, I don't think we talk enough about the risks of denying kids these kinds of freedoms. Because while every mothering gene in my body is screeching "pull him in & hold tight", I've chosen to let him go. I've chosen this because I see the risk if I let him believe that he needs me trailing him and cautioning him and correcting him 24/7. As far as one can ever be assured of safety, I know this is a safe place. Ben is getting a holiday from our helicopter-parenting society and he is flourishing. It is exactly the effect that a good holiday is supposed to deliver.

The decadent lamb curry and chocolate terrine is still settling in our tummies. Julia is relaxing with us. Ben has insisted on being delivered back to the Kids Club-where all the action is! We are drinking post-lunch cappuccinos and thinking about afternoon naps. A young boy (9 years old-he told me earlier) approaches the bar. "Yogi", he says to the man behind the bar, "what time is the treasure hunt?" "Later", says Yogi with a grin. "5:00?", asks the boy. "No . . . 5:15." Another grin. "Yogi, come jetty jump with me", the boy pleads. Yogi puts down his work and they stroll to the dock together, chatting all the way. Moments later, laughter & splashing can be heard from the beach. I wonder if Ben is kayaking or jetty-jumping or sword-crafting. One thing I know for sure: he is having the time of his life.